Confessions of a Therapist for the Very Rich

And no one has ever gotten better by being blamed for their feelings. A husband might come to Capiola looking for a magic pill to fix his wife's mood but belittle the idea of her having any kind of cognitive therapy, or a man might overcome his own prejudices against antidepressants only to hear his wife tell Capiola that he would be fine if he would just stop whining. "You're not going to 'snap them out of it' by being tough on them," Capiola says.

Although there has been much talk in Capiola's field about a person's natural "happiness quotient," he isn't in full agreement with this idea. Instead, he believes that a person's capacity for happiness is affected by his or her natural level of anxiety and their level of resilience. Some rare people are naturally without unnecessary anxiety and can smoothly bounce back from every crisis. They are, in a word, happy. "And what a nice part of our personality that is," Capiola says. Many people, though, struggle with these issues, and anxiety disorders are prevalent in the clients Capiola sees. Monetary gain does not relieve them.

"If I have a tendency to worry or overreact, that's going to transcend whatever financial state I'm in," Capiola says. In some cases it may make it worse. Not only is there now more to lose and more to worry about, there's more opportunity for second-guessing oneself. With more money to spend, Capiola says, "I'm just going to worry about the mistakes I made when I spent that money."

Sometimes the anxiety is complicated by guilt. Not only might the person suspect they don't deserve what they have, or feel that there are others as deserving who don't have enough, but they might feel guilty that they aren't enjoying their good fortune more. It's a lament he hears often: "I have all of these good things [in my life]. Why am I worried? Why am I depressed?"

Being willing to voice those questions is an important first step to resolving them. As hard as it is to share one's feelings, the person who resists can get stuck dealing with the same old issues-forever. "When people feel better, they're able to transition," Capiola says. NCH's Intensive Outpatient Services is a time-limited treatment program where clients receive both individual and group therapy. It's based on helping clients acknowledge strengths, build on strengths and use strengths to solve problems.

"That's the goal: people getting healthy and getting back to their lives," Capiola says. "Life is too short to spend time struggling with depression and anxiety. Reach out and get the treatment you need. You deserve it."