Insights

Like many luminaries, she may have been in the service industry at some point, but my eight-year-old’s question is a good one: Why is it that some of the hardest jobs have the lowest pay scale? And my question: What do we owe the people who provide us with good service?

When I was a child, my parents were very in tune with the philosophy of mutual respect for all, and my children’s conversation indicated to me that they have inherited this awareness. One can usually judge a person’s character by the way he or she treats other people. Nothing is more distasteful—or reveals such a lack of class—as not showing consideration for others.

With housing in the Gulfshore increasingly expensive, service industry employers find it difficult to hire and keep employees. In a community that has been blessed with an influx of wealth, we must do our part to show our appreciation for good service.

Etiquette is a word that’s often misunderstood, and although rules have become more relaxed since the 1960s, good manners are based on treating everyone with the same degree of consideration. Mostly it’s common sense. A gratuity is an act of kindness in a world that is too often fast and rude. Put more directly: People in the service industry are not your servants. Treat them with respect.

What is your aptitude for gratitude?

"When you wait tables for a living, you are going to have under-tippers," says a waiter at a Fifth Avenue South eatery. In restaurants, servers and their employers rely on tips to subsidize a pay scale below minimum wage, and gratuities are expected based on service given. There are other considerations in tipping that go beyond the service and the total of the check. If you hold a table through two seating periods, tip accordingly. Think of it as a pricey piece of Southwest Florida real estate—"camp out," and the rent goes up.

Do you ever leave a "thank you" tip on the pillow of your hotel room? At minimum wage, housekeepers work long hours, often supporting families by doing a job many wouldn’t want—cleaning up a stranger’s very personal effects.

Should you put a tip in the jar for the barista who is extra-speedy in whipping up your favorite coffee concoction when you’re running late? The person who packages your to-go order when you don’t have time to cook dinner? Absolutely. Think about the people who have made your day better, and reward them—from the never-ending entourage greeting you at a hotel to the shampoo person at your salon.

Practice benevolence

In contrast to those who tip grudgingly are those who show unexpected generosity. A gentleman dining at a local restaurant overheard a waitress, a single mother, worrying about how she would afford school supplies and clothes for her children. He discreetly left her a $2,000 gratuity on a $100 check. Another friend brought mortgage payments up-to-date for a waitress and mother whose home was about to be foreclosed upon.

All of us have difficult days. If you receive service that is absent-minded or otherwise off, show some compassion and assume the best. Maybe your server dropped a sick child off at daycare before coming to work. Even when the service is bad, don’t skip the tip. There are so many who don’t tip well even for great service that the server won’t assume you found the experience unacceptable. Instead, discreetly make the manager aware of any issues.

And never cause a scene. Everyone in the service industry has stories of appalling conduct from the wealthy, as well as stories of those who showed themselves to have class and panache through their gratification for services rendered. Living in paradise gives us a reason to be grateful. If you demand good service, meet it with great gratitude.

A READER’S RESPONSE