August 30, 2014

Aug 9, 201211:11 PMSingles Scene

Michael Korb explores the flirty, funny and sometimes frightening world of dating in Southwest Florida

The struggle to keep a man interested

Most have been there: gotten through date number one or even two, only to have this guy suddenly enter the witness relocation program. For whatever reason, he slipped the hook and swam away without so much as a “Thanks for the worm.” I hear it all the time. In fact, the majority of the women I run into in Southwest Florida ask me what they need to do to keep a guy interested. I tell them there are two major issues at play here: men in general have the attention span of gnats; and men in SWFL have a lot of options and want to play the field, so convincing them to settle down with you (or ask for date number four) can take effort.

Such was the case when a group of ladies congregating at the bar area of Capital Grille recently came to a disheartening conclusion: men like young.

My response? “Duh.” Biology has designed the male of the species to hunt for the most fertile option available. On the plus side, the older a guy gets, the term ‘younger’ becomes relative: 60 is young to an 80-year-old. But I digress.

“Exactly what do I have to do to get a man to remember I’m sitting across the table from him when the waitress at Blue Martini is 21 and looks like a Dolphins cheerleader?” says Marlene, a divorced office manager in her late 40s.

The question felt rhetorical, but that won’t stop me from answering it. There is nothing you can do other than assume the man you’re with realizes he has no chance with the 21-year-old.

Regardless, it’s a pretty good question—one with a very easy answer: talk about how much you loved 50 Shades of Grey. Though no man has actually read that book, we assume it is filled with kinky, mind-blowing passages, and that your love of the book means great things are in store for us. We could be totally wrong and 50 Shades of Grey might be a cookbook from the Confederate army, but I doubt it.

The real trick to keeping a guy’s interest is being yourself, show interest in his interests, don’t make yourself too available, and make sure you’ve got other things to do all the time so you don’t care either way. Of course, another option is to bars with hot waitresses on date night.

The Chronicles of Miss X:

The new guy is still around. He’s a bit rough around the edges, but I’m a chick who digs a “bad boy.” Well, at least a former “bad boy,” as I like them a lot more settled now. So I’ll hang around—holding on very loosely to see what he does with the rope I’m giving him. I may have freaked him out early on. When I’m into a guy, I like to spend time with him and I may have pushed too hard. I’ve been on the other side of that, where I met someone that I’m just “OK” about and he seems too anxious and I back off a little… But we seem to be on the same page now. I’ve hidden my profile and he has done the same.

(A few days later…)

Aaaaaand the profile is back up. This sucks. He’s a man of excess… and I, a woman of moderation.