July 28, 2014

May 4, 201209:20 PMSingles Scene

Michael Korb explores the flirty, funny and sometimes frightening world of dating in Southwest Florida

Introducing... The Divine Ms. X



“I’m sane and disease free!”

If ever there was an opening line capable of breaking the ice with potential mates, that’s it. And that’s the greeting that introduced us to the woman we’ve been waiting for all our lives (or more accurately, a month or so)—our new Miss X. The woman Single Scene will be following on a weekly basis in order to learn about the trials and tribulations a real woman goes through while adrift in a sea of man-shaped fish. Best of all, she’ll make you realize that it’s not you—it’s them.

So just who is our new guinea pig/ delightful lady? Here’s how she describes herself: “I’m a 41-year-old divorced mother of two teenagers. I live with my (teenage) son… So while I do have the kid thing going, he is old enough to fend for himself if I make last minute dinner plans. A big plus in this dating pool filled with wishy-washy non-planners who like to fly by the seat of their pants. I work in a small professional office with limited opportunities to meet the man of my dreams, so I’ve been doing the online dating site thing…”

The attractive blonde has profiles on three websites but plans to delete two of them and start from scratch after she had her co-workers critique them. “They said I ‘wrote a book’ and ‘need more pictures of me doing activities guys relate to.’” She plans to head to Bass Pro Shop where she’ll be photographed contemplating the purchase of a camouflage cover for a six-rack meat smoker.

Of course, that won’t stop the 50-year-old married realtor/builder from proposing “morning daytime romps” on a regular basis. “He ‘wants to add happiness to my life by reading to me, playing chess, listening to raindrops, cleaning my house, giving me bubble baths and doing my laundry,’” says Miss X, quoting verbatim his email to her on OKCupid.com. He sounds awesome. And insane. His poor wife must be sitting there in dirty clothes wondering why his bishop never overtakes her rook anymore.

So, aside from the lack of disease and willingness to look at camping equipment in order to find the man of her dreams, why did we choose her as our Miss X? Because she realizes that just because you keep finding frogs doesn’t mean you should stop turning over stones. “I’ve met about 10 men within the past three months,” says Miss X. “So yes, I’ve been pretty active and continue to be so I’m not sitting home eating Chinese takeout and watching Netflix every weekend.”

And we will follow her every step of the way.

*If you have dating questions, feel free to email them to us. We may not answer them, but we’ll have fun trying.