How much information is too much information? When you are in the beginning stages of a relationship (say anywhere between date one and date 12) you are in a precarious position when it comes to doling out pertinent information that could conceivably have major repercussions on the relationship. For example, at what point should you tell the person you are now dating that you were arrested in college for protesting at the G8 Summit? Or that you once dated a famous television personality? Or the actual number of people you’ve, you know, ehem…
When does someone need this information? Personally, I believe in getting this stuff out of the way on date one—assuming I’ve remembered to bring the non-disclosure agreement I’ve had made up. (Once that’s signed I’m an open book.) But do you want to know just how many cowboys or cowgirls have saddled up and taken your new colt or filly out of the barn?
“I don’t ever want to know to be honest,” says our friend, Gretchen, from Naples. “Unless it’s zero or he was a prostitute. That’s the kind of info that would be useful to have in advance.” So what would she do if a guy asked her her number on date one? “I’d lie… Just kidding. (She’s not kidding.) I don’t think it’s any of his business right out of the gate. Actually, if a guy asks that right away it is almost too judgy of a question. It also comes across as presumptuous—assuming that he is going to get that far.”
(Tip: Every guy presumes that. Duh.)
What’s funny is that when it comes to that particular bit of information, it seems women are inclined to fib. They feel that guys will be put off if they don’t have a much lower number than the guy. If that is true, they could all just move to Punta Gorda which was just named the #4 Worst City for Singles by Kiplinger.com. It seems only 40 percent of the population is single and that same percentage is over 62. (Not that there’s anything wrong with that.) But with those kinds of numbers, your number is bound to stay low preternaturally.
The Chronicles of Miss X: Last week Miss X had a terrific time getting to know PELG (Positive Experience Lunch Guy) and learning about his musical tastes. He did everything right: was engaging, informative and had a charming photo of him shirtless on his profile page—showing beautifully-defined abs, pecs and other muscle-toned related goodies. Almost too good to be true. So has she had date number two yet? “I will reconnect with PELG. Right now he is working a transition job … he is a pizza delivery guy.” (And there it is. That didn’t take long.) “While getting certified to be a teacher … but he will be out of town over the weekend to take his 12-year-old daughter to Ft. Lauderdale.” (And the other shoe just dropped. Of course, the silver ling is that whenever he calls, he’ll be there in 30 minutes or less.)