Just Behave

Just Behave: Gal and Her Guys

Our etiquette maven weighs in on questions from our readers.

BY January 13, 2017

One of my girlfriends has run into a problem with dating. She is dating three guys at the same time, and I think it’s rude. Every night it seems she has a different date. I’m afraid she’ll hurt their feelings. What should I do?  
—Jennifer, Fort Myers

Dear Jennifer,

In baseball, a triple play is rare—and celebrated. Here, I’d ask whether it’s truly rude, whether you’re just jealous and whether it is really your business anyway. Unless she’s sleeping with all three, and even if she is, I don’t know why you should be concerned. Maybe you should work on your own dating game and—who knows?—you may even discover that double or triple plays are just the thing for you, too. That would be a win-win because you sure wouldn’t have time to worry about your girlfriend’s dating life.


I’m going to a wedding in Texas and I want to wear boots with my dress. My husband thinks boots aren’t fancy enough and is afraid they will detract from the bride. Is he right?
—Mary, Naples

Dear Mary,

Yeehaw!  Wearing boots in Texas sounds fine to me, but I wonder why your husband is concerned. Are they dirty? Would you wear a cowboy hat, too? Your husband is right about detracting from the bride, though. It’s always best not to draw too much attention to yourself—outlandish boots and a flashy cowboy hat would be wrong. And never wear white (unless asked). I presume you wouldn’t be riding a horse to the wedding. Right?


I’ve been to a friend’s house for dinner a few times and I’m always concerned that she doesn’t wash her hands before preparing our meal. I’ve also seen stray hairs on her kitchen counter. What should I do? Is it rude to ask her to wash her hands?
—Peter, Bonita Springs

Dear Peter,

Why would you continue to go there for dinner if you’re worried about cleanliness?  If you’re that concerned but want to see her, go out for dinner. And don’t sneak a peek in the kitchen of the restaurant. No telling what impurities you might spot there. Consider it a wash with your friend: no more dinners at her place, but no comments to her about the germs, etc. There’s no point in embarrassing her and possibly hurting your relationship. Now, if this were a dating situation, you might have to come clean about your objections. 


Suzanne Willis is a hospitality consultant and the founder/CEO (Chief Etiquette Officer) of Mimi’s Manners, specializing in dining etiquette for children, teens and adults.


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