October 20, 2014

Feb 24, 201210:25 PMSingles Scene

Michael Korb explores the flirty, funny and sometimes frightening world of dating in Southwest Florida

Facebook Hunting Grounds


As Facebook continues to be a dominant force in virtually everyone’s lives, it should come as no surprise that the online giant is being turned into a massive singles bar. When you can actually list your relationship status as “It’s complicated,” you can figure there’ll be some inquiry. In fact, there are some among us who are such Facebook stalkers that they have tagged their favorite targets and pounce as soon as that someone’s status goes to “single.” It’s creepy, but the early bird gets the worm (or a restraining order—it’s a fine line).

When pressed to admit if they’ve ever cyber-stalked a potential mate, sober locals at BURN By Rocky Patel in Mercato were hesitant to admit to anything. Luckily, the less sober turned out to be goldmines of information. “Listen, listen,” slurred late-30s Paul, a recent male patron who misgauges personal space after two gin and tonics, “I picked up a couple of girls from Facebook. I saw their picture and thought they were hot and friended them. We clicked right away.” And just where are these lovelies now? “Who knows? I had to block them. Crazy b****es.” Yep, it’s like we were staring into the face of Shelley or Keats.

And this is definitely not just a guy thing. Our old friend Riley admits to “noticing: changes in status of guys she was interested in. “I might ‘like’ a post or leave a funny comment in a long thread on pages I used to just stalk. And I may have focused my ‘likes’ on posts that focused on ‘Moving on to bigger and better’ type posts.”

Another Facebooker (we’ll call her Tammy) actually used Facebook to score a one-night stand based purely on the thought that “Oh, he looks fun.”

“Turns out he wasn’t,” says Tammy, checking the contents of her purse. “Live and learn.”

It really is complicated. But using Facebook for anything relationship-related is playing with fire, say relationship experts. If you are just starting a relationship, posts from other friends could lead to jealousy. If you’ve just broken up, you’re going to potentially see that your ex has moved on and is getting a lot more action than you are. Every tiff is in the public domain and tends to sit there forever as though hieroglyphs from another time. And with the new Timeline—oh, God—you’ve got some housecleaning to do.

I actually had an ex de-friend me post-breakup during a Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show weekend in Miami. It almost ruined ogling. Thank goodness Angela Lindvall was there to guide me through it.

So are you using Facebook for good instead of evil? Do you even know the difference? Send us a note and tell us (so we don’t feel so bad about ourselves).